Knowing When to Just Let it Go - Lessons from my Failed Plan for a Show Prep Ride
First things first, I am a highly competitive person. I have competed as a Division II athlete, as a junior rider chasing points and invitations to year end finals. and played competitive travel sports throughout my middle school and high school years. As an adult, I appreciate the processes of training the horse more then I did in my younger years but, even for small unrated shows, I still get in that “practice, practice, practice” mode. And next weekend I am taking Chubby and Rah to a small schooling show for the experience. There are no aspirations of ribbons, prize money, coolers, or points for end of your awards; and I am certainly not riding to qualify for the 18” Happy Hunters year-end finals. But, I had my plan for what type of ride I wanted for both my horses. Chubby lacks fitness and often times gets balled up and stuck in first gear. Part of this is becuase we work in a smaller ring which is difficult for him to canter in, forget about going forward. And Rah, needs more miles with atmosphere, as the minute we get to a show, she melts down.
Where it all Went Wrong
Take a few minutes and checkout our rain ride from this afternoon. Where I also forgot my ladder to get on my 17 hh horse.
My plan for the day was to catch Rah and Cbubby, groom them while they ate their “grain”, load-up and go. I was waiting for the temps to rise some so the footing would have thawed and would be safe. But, there was also bad weather coming in, and trying to have a productive school during a rain storm would be a thwart-less effort. Chubby and Rah both typically load well, and they are only on 5 flat acres right now so they are usually easy to catch. Or so I assumed.
From minute one, everything went opposite to plan. Below is a breakdown of my near meltdown.
Went to catch Chubby, couldn’t.
Grabbed Rah. Went to trailer, tied her up and fed her. Left to get Chubby who is now very interested in coming in for grain.
Catch Chubby, notice fat quarter horse Blondie stealing Rahs breakfast and chase Blondie away. Rah spokes, shreds the halter and breaks the metal tie ring on the trailer in half. She actually broke the metal
Look back, Pi the retired TB eating Cbubbys food, now pretty made chase Pi away, and go chase Chubby down. ]]
Decide to load Chubby and feed him offsite. 45 minutes later he’s in.
Running through paddock screaming and throwing rocks at naughty food thief’s and try to catch Rah.
Catch Rah, load Rah. Get sad look from poor dogs who haven’t had a proper hike in a while. Feel guilty as not I likely wont have time to take them on the planned hike and ride both horses.
Fuming over broken equipment, waste of time, and the ever impending rain storm.
As I stood their angry, I sat for long enough to know that a few deep breaths weren’t going to change my mood. And if I am angry, and it started to rain while I was riding, it was going to be a “perfect storm”. I thought about what I was actually going to accomplish in one ride, and decided that getting a good trail ride in and some fitness work would be just as beneficial then heading to the ring. It also meant my dogs could go on a much needed outing. So, as angry as I was, and as much of a waste as I felt the day was, we drove to the DNR Horse Camp near Mt. Rainer and went for a went, miserable, trail ride.
Thankfully, the ride went really well, and I would say we accomplished a lot. More then I would have alternately. On our ride we achieved the following:
Getting on
Forgot my ladder so I can get on the giant.
We got a good “work out” in, to help with fitness.
It was Chubby’s first trail ride not just riding off the property.
It rained and sleeted, and Chubby had to deal with that. And he did it well.
Chubby ponied Rah, which he has done before but, good practice.
We worked on water crossings.
We had the opportunity to cross a narrow wooden bridge that was over running water.
Cbubby proved he could ride without getting to nervous near a shooting range and also an ATV park.
Chubby and Rah had to watch their footing in the slippery mud. It was great for Rah’s who needs to work on slowing down on trail.
Dogs got walk, although they were rather displeased with the weather.
I had my fleece lined boots in my trailer and kept warm feet through the ride.
All-in-all the day was a huge success. I still have that feeling like we didn’t prepare. and it was a lost opportunity but, this was as much an exercise for me managing my expectations and emotions as it was anything else.
The Take Away
I know some people will read this and not be able to relate directly to my competitive nature and the showing but, the real lesson here is that we as riders, and trainers, need to have self-awareness, and be honest with ourselves as to how our moods impacts our actions and how we interact with our horses. For example, if you have had a bad day at work and just want to go home and ride; but, you get home, cant catch your horse and you feel like your just going to melt down. Quit. Don’t waste another minute trying to catch the horse. Stop and do something different. It is very disappointing, I know, this has happened to me but, if your angry your horse knows it, and you will never catch them.
Set aside the specifics, all horse owners set goals and have expectations for our horses, wether it is upper-level showing or just being a companion animal, there are expectations. And for most of us, the horses are our outlet to deal with stress at home and at work, they are the key to a horse persons mental health. When your horse decides that their agenda is very different from yours, respect that, and find a way to compromise. You need to know yourself well enough to know when to move on to plan B. Maybe instead of a trail ride you clean stalls, tack, and just enjoy being at the barn around the horses. If your like me, maybe its just going on a trail ride and reminding yourself what’s really important, is just being able to spend time with the horses.
So take some time for self reflection. and work on self-control when you have “one of those days”. Have a Plan B you can turn to so that you do not end up taking your bad mood out on your horse.